Chaos

"Before the beginning of great brilliance and beauty there first must be a period of complete chaos"
- I Ching

Chaos pretty much sums it up. A simple decision to move to Italy has turned our lives inside-out. After the flurry of airline tickets and reservations, the household sorting, selling, packing and moving, after the last-minute denial of our travel visas, and falling into bed exhausted, things have finally sifted down to two basic emotions: excitement and fear.
The excited, positive feelings are usually in the morning (if I've slept well) or in the evening (after a glass of wine). I think about this Great Italian Adventure we're embarking on: how we'll savor the culture, the food, the landscape. How we'll swim in the velvety blue Mediterranean and buy produce from a little old woman at the local market, and how we'll start to think and dream in Italian. How we'll face the inevitable challenges with a fresh and lively sense of humor. How we'll savor the freedom of living without mortgage payments and utility bills and unfinished home projects.
But then just like that, the fear worms its way into my belly in the middle of the night, when I can't sleep, and my mind hops around from one daunting thought to another...what are we doing? How can we just leave our friends, our town, our dog (though she's in good hands), our stuff? How will we have the patience to homeschool? How can we possibly pull this off?
Seeing so many friends and family at our Buon Viaggio party the other night was such a sweet sendoff--like getting married, but much less expensive. So much love and support, even though I know for a fact that some of them think we are completely mad, impulsive, naive and utterly foolish.
But then I ask myself: how often do we truly follow a dream? How often do we get the chance to do something adventurous and we don't do it because we're scared and can't predict the outcome?
Next up: hopefully something witty and insightful...